serotonin spill

i think i may be so happy it's hard to pick what to tell you each day. which is like the coolest feeling i have ever felt. i know in 6 months when it's grey all day and i have no idea what i am doing anymore and the city has been discovered that i may feel different but i am determined to just live right now and right now, i feel so happy. 

many questions have come in about two people so i do want to share about the Wilson-Robert's crew and Stephen. 

So, Stephen. I've transferred the anxiety and hardly feel bad, isn't that awful? he likes the company a LOT, he loves the environment of workers, he really admires the leadership of the organization (including this CEO who he had a one on one with today!!!!).  On the flip side - he doesn't love the commute, he does feel a fair shake of performance pressure, and he is aware that he is on a productive team that needs to move into being more creative and seems to be weary of change and leadership. 

we have truly changed places. he wakes early and shocks me. the hours at this point seem totally reasonable and i try not to bring it up because i don't want to jinx it. we brainstorm and dissect his meetings and the drama in his workplace. it's crazy. i talk about punchfork and the new craftbook i found and Hannah wanting to meet every girl at the park. 

So... to be discussed in more full detail another day, how are Amy and her family doing in anticipation of baby auggie's arrival? i struggle to write about it because i never know fully what is okay to say. It's so so hard for all of us to get our hearts and minds around her arrival and her wellbeing. i would say the priority is literally her health. Amy is now 32 weeks pregnant and they are telling her to consider 37 weeks full term. Auggie's heart has two holes in it and is missing one valve, yet at this point, it is still strong enough to do what her body needs and will be examined immediately upon arrival into the world. They have so many appointments with doctors it seems, which we are grateful for, but which i think are also wearing on Amy and Aaron especially when so much seems like yellow flags and not completely knowns. They check all of her organs and pay special attention to her brain development and heart health. She is progressing and we are thankful. 

i know i and to some extent all of us, just struggle to grapple with how very difficult bringing children into this world in healthily and right timing seems to be for our family. we all feel weary of the journey and know we are just beginning a whole new one. we worry about Sadie. we worry about their marriage and the new ways they must operate in order to survive with a baby with special needs in the house. so so very much to discover and learn that feels so entirely different than when you are expecting a baby with no health of development issues. at the same time, we all love baby auggie so so very much it scares us, and we fully believe she is going to teach us a million things. we know all of this is not without goodness and we have great hope for all the victories on her behalf. 

all i would say is that if amy, aaron, sadie, or baby auggie come to your mind, take two seconds and say a prayer each time. i just want them COVERED in love and prayer as they enter the last month before she arrives.