as much backtalking as i tried to do, it wasn't enough. again, i find myself relinquishing control of my life. so dang annoying to be reminded, and then for a few minutes a day, good to be reminded that the very best i could lay my life out for myself I have to believe can't match the one God wants for me. So we trek through what has turned out to be a very challenging season in our home. I can hardly believe it has been 5 weeks of pain now, and that we need to buckle down for a few more at least. one day at a time. truth is my pain is only part of the home picture as everyone in family units know, and there has been plenty going on for Stephen and Hannah too. It isn't a pretty time for hardly any businesses out there, and this has been an especially trying season for Bright Yellow Jacket and I know this weighs heavy on Stephen's mind. I am in awe of the way his business partner, Sean, and he move through the difficulty with such determination, integrity, hope and faith that God has them in this business. I am truly excited to see what's in store for them and motivated by their faith. Nonetheless, the now reality is heavy for us all.

Hannah boo is seemingly getting tall, and trying to peer over everything she can. Her 8 teeth have sprouted up in all sorts of directions it seems making for the cutest smile i can handle. she usually only says "Ma Ma" when crying which is sad, but they are the greatest words i ever heard. she has had a tummy virus for the last week, the two of us were quite a sight to behold, and she has been feeling pretty crummy. my dear friend Kim watched her for us as we went back to the hospital and she took some precious photos. no smiles b/c she was sickie, but i sure thought she captured some awesome pics of her little face.

so the medical update is that i got to come home with Nurse Momma Sue yesterday late afternoon. I am so glad to be home, even though on bedrest, hospitals are rough on the spirit. this visit was so much better than the first, i got a great room with good sunlight, and my first day of nurses were so wonderful and really cheered the low experience. we packed better this time too and stephen spent the night with me every night!!! mom, dad, bebs, and randy kate also kept me company in the day which really helped. so what's next, we go back to the clinic on Monday to hopefully have the drain removed and set a date for surgery. They have decided that major surgery is neccessary to get rid of those bad parts and put me back together again. I am soaking in the reality of the surgery, and the reality of the recovery little by little. I have had to take medical leave from work, which has been heartbreaking to be away from some great projects and have to have others take more with already full plates. but everyone has been gracious, and at this point, there is no choice, i have to focus on healing. we'll keep you posted. thanks for loving on us in all the many ways you are.