it's weird to be concious in the middle of the rough patch where your heart is, you are so often just in survival. operational. when my dear father asks my how my heart is in all this, i think well if I jump through 10 hoops, a few hulula hoops, up and down a slide and maybe i'll find a pulse. b/c maybe if i found that pulse i would also find a thirsty heart.i am finding that other's faith is very refreshing to me right now, like i can soak it up better. there is no other way but to recieve. i cannot pay anyone back right now, i can't even prepare my house for their arrival. i can't feel guilty about what i should have done for them before or what i will owe them after. so i decide to just soak. I am thankful for the drop by visit of my friend Sarah, for frivilous fun gifts she brought and the time she took to say a prayer for me before going. for another wonderful neighbor, hannah's best friend's mom, Melissa for bringing over movies, games, flowers and puzzles ( i promised stephen when she left we could not get into a puzzle, that had to be something older couples did... hours and hours later we've had a blast doing a puzzle, who knew, this soaking has gone too far already). [caption id="attachment_360" align="alignleft" width="96" caption="I think they have fun. the hannah's. "]
[/caption] [caption id="attachment_359" align="alignright" width="63" caption="Hannah's fav playmate Hannah"]
[/caption] my father in law sent a verse that i was able to really absorb - "The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and His ears are attentive to their cry" Ps. 34:15. I struggle with the righteous bit, but he put in parenthesis (like a mother with a newborn!) and that image took. i wouldn't miss a peep from my daughter, my ear is bent to her, and I must rest and know that His ears are attentive to the cries of this home. And i do believe He loves us. Persevere. all that to say, we should do the little things for others when our hearts are full b/c you never know your power to bless the other. be risky with caring so much. update is mom, Sooz, left, and we cried a lot. i cannot outgrow my mom and she constantly demonstrates her unending love for me. she is remarkable and i feel so hugged every minute she is here. Kiki, my sister Amy, flies in tonight and will be a lovely back-up. I cannot wait to be with her and have Hannah get to be around her more. We'll update after the doctor visit tomorrow.