gardening therapy? not so much.

  [caption id="attachment_284" align="alignnone" width="150" caption="jean overalls and baby legs. can't handle it"]

[/caption] if you consider therapy switching pain from one part of your body all into your lower back, then yes gardening is your best therapy. it does indeed take your attention off other things and help you to switch gears to focus on the shooting pain in your back and the fact that you ruined all your nails by playing in dirt with bugs in it. i try, honestly, i want more hobbies like gardening, but i don't get it. it hurts. it reminds me that an 18 lb kid is a lot to hold.  [caption id="attachment_285" align="alignright" width="200" caption="Easter Sunday in Roanoke!"]

[/caption]     stephen and i embarked on an ambitious yard project this weekend and i admit, it was awesome to be outside, and it is awesome to see such progress by the end of the day. thing is, our only hope to not wash all that labor and money away is to keep gardening. that's a problem for me.  like my yard, i have been a little rough around the edges recently. i find that what i thought was a great skill of compartmentalizing has become a bit much bc i can't remember the compartments as well anymore. so when i shove issue A into a compartment to move on to issue b which i then shove into a different compartment often by the time i get to like compartment d shoving, i am anxiety ridden and i can't exactly figure out why. maybe because i can't fully get myself back to issue A to resolve, so now i have compiled them all into one issue. and that's special. this is usually when i get in trouble bc i am overwhelmed by a-d and i need to decompress. so that is my hope for my monday. even though as i am writing i feel anxious by all i need to do and all that will happen this week, i feel so so very aware of need to think and recharge. it's quite comical in fact that this week's chapter for small group is entitled, "an unhurried life". that should be good. (ha ha, wink wink). Similar to last week on the discipline of JOY, who has these things figured out, Please stand up. i only get frustrated b/c i want so so very badly to be in the unhurried and joyous life club. anywho, off to get started. [caption id="attachment_286" align="alignleft" width="200" caption="my first Easter! "]

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