bff

i was talking to PH's little sister the other day, Sarah, and we were talking about her upcoming adventure with her new hubby Danny. They are going to Korea to teach for a year. We are so excited for them and as i was talking to her I said something that i didn't even realize how true it was.. until a few more days of reflection. When Stephen and I took our adventure out West, now that i look back, I realize that one of the greatest jewels from that time was that we really became best friends. neither of us had anything familiar or secure to ground us like a job, or family, or a place to live, or friends. (i know some of you are saying, what about God and your faith... and thankfully, we did have that wonderful foundation) and we just kind of organically rallied around each other in this insecure but exploratory time. we made up more games than any two people i know, we went to happy hours so we could afford the $1 PRB, we took walks and hikes, and sat in Powell's (a bookstore) for hours. we hoped aloud, shared fears aloud, complained aloud, we questioned aloud... and in time we experienced together great provision and grounding.  i share that b/c some of my fears with beginning a family were around how much it would change stephen and i. in fact i remember tears on mulitple occassions wondering how much i would miss of Stephen and I's relationship once we had a kid. i remember the feeling that our days of adventure were over for now. and well, some of my fears have come true b/c there is no going back, but even more evident is that I am surprised, so very pleasantly surprised at what an unbelievable delight and privilege it is to care for a baby with Stephen. I am surprised at how wonderfully natural our idea of co-parenting has played out. i was sure i would nag more, i was sure i would be disappointed more, i was sure i would feel abandon more, i was sure i would sacrifice us time more.. and absolutely not. I feel such teamwork, such support, such flow to our start that i am shocked. and so so very grateful and so my point of this long story is that as i have reflected, i do believe that in some part, this flow is born out of being best friends and doing life together. of knowing each other well enough to know the times when one more single hannah scream is going to put the other over the edge, or when a work day was too heavy and they need rest, or maybe need exercise. but just trying the best we know how to tag team, well it's so far exceeded my expectations. and that is really hard to do. (: