i have a crush. he is less blond than i remember, perfect height, now a runner again, he is creative, he is wise, he is leading me... he is changing. and i am totally enamored. 7 years ago this month I married Stephen, a day filled with more joy than any in my memory. and here i am today feeling giddy for him to come home from work. i even saw him across the way when we were at this beach this weekend and i felt nervous, can he still like me? funny thing is that with these extra 20 lbs i have never felt more beautiful around him, and i am sure he has never been this aware of me, this connected to my days. truly all praise be to God who has been so generous to us in our marriage. everyone knows we like any partnership have had our times, some seem to last the year long, some break my heart to remember, but what we all seem shy to share is the times when we are surprised by goodness. this isn't bragging, this is deep gratitude from my heart that i share life with someone that i admire, trust, and respect. that some seasons can really be this sweet. when i even begin to allow myself to dream of him as a dad, well, my word, i can't even go there, it is more than i could have ever asked for.. he already plays her guitar and talks to her and reads books to learn of the design and role of fathers in their daughters lives... oh man, do i ever have a crush.