the other night i made it through an hour and 15 minute power yoga class being 6 months pregnant. after nights and nights of interrupted sleep with back pain, this was the most invigorating accomplishment. i swear as hokey as some may think yoga is, God loves it too. We are meditative, quiet but active, connected to our strength and our body just as it is, we are surrendered a bit to our limitations but find progress in the tiniest things, we are aware but not distracted. its just this great space, it is chi, (i don't even think that is how you spell it) and even with this large belly i find great beauty and strength. and i haven't been chi since... as much as i try to meditate and learn when something is put on my heart, i find this is like climbing uphill. we are reading this great book in small group that brought up great ideas of knowing our space in this existence, knowing our place of intended rest in Jesus, knowing our identity as was given from the beginning as God's beloved. but we spend most waking hours on other things somehow. how does that work? am i the only one disconnected from this talk? i long to really get that i am beloved, to really get that we are intended to rest, that our space of existence usually has little to do with what we labor over everyday. we seem so distracted, so out of touch but ever the more in touch. who can put their blackberries down or keep the computer off for hours on end or skip TV for a few weeks. i am wrestling this week for two main reasons - 1. i have turned in my proposal for work for my post baby plans and it has really challenged me to think of what i am all about and where/how i am intended to have impact 2. the reality is very slowly sinking in that i will have a baby girl here in just a few months, i dream of all the things i want to be to her. i think daily now about what i want her to know and be taught and see in the home. but damn, i've been so long distracted, am i joking myself that i can lead her in these dreamy ways, that i can expose her to life i want her to know if i am barely grasping it myself. cheers to the weekend and my first beach trip of the season.