right here in the middle of it all it's hard to stay sunny. it's a flavor of joy that is catching my gut and making my heart feel the strength of the waves. here at the beach surrounded day after day by familiarity of smell, accent, temperature, streets, and conversation. these places actually have memories, not everything is a first and there is no explaining in getting started. we reach deep and don't waste time because we have tasted the richness before and are far more conscious now that we do not want to squander it. 3000 miles is a lot.

the sun has warmed us heart and soul. most significantly i have been warmed by hearing more than one kid's laughter in a room. by watching these minis enjoy feminity and giggle and paint toenails and share fairies. by watching the sweetness of kid play that is inclusive and lacks prerequisites and judgement. they just appreciate company. i love seeing Hannah throw her head back in laughter and clickity clack around the house in dress up shoes. i even appreciate her first black eye because she built a "pillow bridge" but missed the pillow one go round and hit her eye. she played so hard that you could tell the bump was such an aggravation to have slowed her down from play.

we spent our first few days at Wrightsville Beach at the Cochran house. Caroline and Lilly were welcoming and sweet and i really loved getting to be around them. I also treasured rooftop conversation over wine with Alli. the honest, easy, grounded in hope and love for one another way we share refreshes us. we had wonderful visits from the Morgan crew and Hannah couldn't have followed Mason around more closely and fell right in stride with Porter as well. they played so hard in the water and it was really wonderful to see these decade long friendships that are now full of motherhood. seeing megan reminds me so so very much of growing up and stupidity of adolescence, but she too accepts and loves me even with all that history, and so this new era seems even richer. Then Melissa and Hannah Beth picked us up and we headed for a few days together at Sunset Beach. the giggles were symphonic and the way the are aware and know each other makes you think they would be 60 year old friends. there is such joy and sugar in their friendship. it is so full and literally picked my heart up. i pushed an inch of bitterness out each time i knew how irreplaceable these two are and tried to absorb the moments so they would last longer. i too loved laughing, dancing and relaxing very simply with Melissa.

this NC air has been oxygenating us it seems and we still have many days left. i try to relish not squander each one.

(pics to come the internet is too slooooow)