It will come as no surprise to many of you who may be at all familiar with my sex education when i confess that I have no real idea why we call it birds and bees. I vaguely understood that to be a means of explaining sex to children, however, really? Bee pollination? Birds laying eggs? A stinger? I'm confused. Which also stays the course for my life in sex ed.
considering i thought my parents had sex three times and threw the original book my mom tried to share back at her once i got to the page with the penis on it, i think it was fair to say i was a bit undersexducated. Johnny and Sue are the bomb, however i think in sheltered ol Alabama, they didn't major in these talks. mostly the talks were about chastity. Our bodies as a temple. which is incredible and important beyond measure. science and anatomy are helpful too.
So, knowing my background, you know i am a newbie on the topic so i am literally talking out loud in case anyone is in my boat. i decided its important to begin with my hopes. So in short:
My hope is that Hannah knows her body is beautiful, that she respects it, that we are open to enjoy our shapes and speak positively of how we were each uniquely and perfectly made by God. His design is good.
My hope is that she feel empowered by what she knows FROM US about sex so that when she starts hearing about it elsewhere it won't seem too scary, awful, embarrassing, or whatnot.
My hope is that she is able to hear our values and thoughts about the fun and fulfillment and appropriate,safe timing of sex.
My hope is that she know a girl is about SO much more than her body. That her mind and heart matters a great great great great great great great deal.
that's my staring list.
My two things i learned today:
1. Teaching our kids about sex is NOT one conversation about birds and bees. It is more like 200 one minute conversations. It is years of short and sweet and honest that is compiled of science and facts woven with our values and emotions. (seriously this is new news to me, why did i think it was a one stop shop)
2. I will not be ready. i am not ready. and i am not waiting for her to ask. It all needs to come sooner than I think. Beginning with like way before now introducing ideas of safety and privacy and strangers. Knowing that i want her to hear it first from us and that our courage in conversation can protect her, I will get ready.
Here is the list of resources we received today in case anyone is interested. I will begin exploring them and point out any favs, and please, share with me your hopes and resources too. pretty sure i can use all the help i can get.