deeper than my feet may wander
even though i know how very changed we are i cannot anticipate the new rocks to fall and they quickly become an avalanche to my soul. i had it together yesterday. maybe even a little this morning. i got color on my skin from the sun and it was healing. we went on a huge neighborhood Easter egg hunt and bonded with neighbors house by house as the kids competed for eggs. we wore happy dresses and our toes showed. i went on an Easter morning run and worshiped as I ran around the glistening lake. we met a new family where it felt very very easy which was like lemonade in a desert. hannah rode her bike like a champ and her cheeks glowed with the joy of accomplishment. we ate brunch with dreamy pancakes and lemon ricotta french toast both dressed in fresh whip cream and every fresh fruit. all in all the weekend was lively and good.
and then today another rock fell. and i can't quite keep my grip. recently stephen and i had this image of falling upward. like we are for sure climbing an endless mountain but instead of falling down it with each card of disappointment, defeat or confusion, we still sense this movement upward. not because of us but because in the very very deepest parts of our souls we sense purpose around all this circumstantial hell.
Enter Ocean (Where Feet May Fail) By Hillsong United which literally brings words from the wholest part of my self. the falling upward, pre and post avalanche self. this song has every word I feel, even the tone, and for sure the repetition (remember how much we need repetition to learn), i wish like heck i had a voice because this would be my song. i get it down deep and hope you two can be blessed in these words. and for peet sake download it and go to a quiet space and hear it. really hear it. i wish i could send you each an itunes card right now.
"Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)"
You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand
And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now
So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
[x6]
I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine
