i woke up knowing today was number 50. it had to be genius, perfect, complete, and profound. no pressure. of course Hannah could not dare whine or be sad for a single moment on day 50. me either.

even though i favor the dramatic, i do recognize that while writing each day has been a great challenge that i feel sure will gain significance to Hannah and I in time, that we couldn't actually get it all figured out in 50 days. in the scope, it's actually a short amount of time, like people may not have actually been given the chance to miss us yet. i know it is just the beginning.

for any of you who have reached out to me during this time, know you have said the perfect thing at the perfect time to keep me going and give me strength. knowing you were with me and hearing your thoughts blessed and strengthened me, thank you. that won't ever change of course, i will always love hearing from you.

my heart is content and i am learning each and everyday which is more than i can say about myself over the last few years. i was too busy to learn, too sure to hear, too consumed for discovery. i have been surprised that while this move, which feels so frequently ridiculous when i ever contemplate what we left, continues to feel like our next step for our little crew. i actually want to fall out when i let it settle that God wants to do and offer very new and right things for each of us. how to keep our hearts open will remain the challenge for each of us.

our 50 days have been protected, generous, filled with goodness of beauty and taste. filled with moments of learning what it means to raise a 3 year old and support a man in his new work, to feel confident of myself regardless what was accomplished in the day and how few accolades were offered. to release all that isn't and embrace whats before us each day. to desire the most in ways that feel healthy. to accept more simplicity even when sometimes that flat out means less. i am one for noise and i do believe these walls will be filled again but for now, we set up shop by ourselves and have yet to set the table for more than 3. i long to set it for more in so many ways. so much life to be had. and if there is ANY doubt you are ALL invited ANYTIME. very very seriously, even with an awkward floor plan, there is a guest room that we will be setting up this weekend.

so in case you were hoping it may be... this isn't the end of my blogging, its so therapeutic and life giving for me. it may be more sporadic or more topical, we'll see. Cheers to 50 in 50!

(this is day 50 in all it's simple glory)