it's beginning to come together for me. more like the way you feel a ray of warmth from the sun on a day that the sky is full of puffy white clouds. the clouds are beefing up getting ready to release but before the first thunder i am momentarily highlighted by sun. He is near me, He delights in me. I am moved by this verse in Isaiah that i copied a beautiful illustration of from an ETSY shop (props to naptime diaries) below. i am sure that is a wee bit illegal but it moves me. it reasonates for me, it's for me this ray i am getting of considering life of gracias, in seeing the gifts of each day while grieving the overly heavy expectation of what i thought life would look like now because the thing i hear SO loudly now is LET GO. LIVE NOW. which leaves me no options but to TRUST. BELIEVE. and to live now doesn't mean to brush aside without giving the appropriate merit to my visions for this time stage of my life but to see it, name it and find my way to release its hold. the hold that weighs the path i am on of not being good enough. the weight that blocks me from wearing my garment of praise and keeps me longing for MY perfect ideas for life, very truly not always his. because there is no space for His when i am so focused on mine. i want to be connected to the OAKS of righteousness, they are strong, hearty, resistant. i want to be coveted as the material to support a beautiful building. i want to be comfortable in my making and yielding to how i may grow. not left up to the wind but vested, more wholeheartedly that i am a daughter to the King of Kings and if i for one moment of each day believed in how the King treasures his princesses, and in turn how the princesses release in order to trust in His plan and trust that it is good. Not in the sideline kind of way but in the full on arms spread voice out way of really BElieving there is real full good life out there for me to live. now. so for today my gift is the ray of warmth i am feeling in this moment.