it doesn't exactly work when there is a time limit. i have perfected, somewhat unconciously, the length my grace extends. you can forget to call x times, you can be late x times, you can have that attitude for x amount of minutes, you can forget my birthday x times, you get the idea. this weekend in a less than fun conversation with PH this lesson stood out to me loud and clear. chose to extend grace to me or not, but i can't work within your time limit for this courtesy. here's the ugly example - my last day at work, emotional, new, weird. friends invite us over for dinner to celebrate. i get in my car after some goodbyes and it hit me like a ton of bricks that i just signed off on my email that i would be on maternity leave. what the heck is that? i never imagined myself on maternity leave, i can't believe its my turn. hence tears and fear. well the second i heard his voice on the phone i realized he had a hard day, he let me know he may not make it to the dinner at all and if he did he would be pretty late. ouch. rough day with clients, need to start over on one design. head spinning, i quickly make the desicion this is okay, push through, be there for Stephen instead. have grace that the world didn't perfectly work out that he would have an easy day on my last day so he could care for me. fine, this is reality that sometimes the switcharoo of care in a marriage doesn't pan out perfectly and both people are needy at once. without carrying on too much here, the point is, he did make it to the dinner, late, but he made it, but he was still sour and frustrated. and at this point i realized the buzzer on my grace had gone off, i wasn't prepared to have him come into the fun celebration dinner with a sour attitude. he was supposed to be over it by now or push through for me. right? well no. I was actually needing to chose to continue with a spirit of grace and welcome him, its hard to have him guess when the time limit has been estinguished. you know what i mean? its funny how we decide our limits of grace. one of my college roommates, Anna, was one of the first people to really live grace to me. and i was so surprised by it, that i literally kept waiting for it to run out, almost self sabotaging. but she was able to stay kind and patient and hopeful with and for me. her grace had depth. thank heaven's God's grace is immense, vast, wide, and timeless. i want to practice life with more of that.