i know

it's the way we move around the house with each other. all the tiny things that speak when you know someone so well. when all the quirks are on the table but you also know you've crossed another threshold. this weekend my gut has told me we crossed another threshold without a lot of words but in the way we are operating.

when I am always aware of the scorecard it helps no one. when the minutes passed 5pm seem like an hour a piece as you wait for change. as the weekend nights pass by with little glitter. and i really love glitter. we put so much weight into our weekends. they are our chance to catch up...on sleep, on groceries, on cleaning the yard and the house, to run. they are chance to love up on hannah and hang out with friends. cook. and this one, we are weary and unaligned.

 i got this sense of the depth of Ph and I's love and commitment to one another in the little things. Being the first to clean Hannah's high chair tray or diaper, wanting to do exact opposite things but finding ways to meet in the middle, resisting passenger seat driving,
our way of moving around each other that was easy and heavy, tender and lack luster, tried and true. it's the times with less words that actually feels more powerful. the jabs you resist.

last night as we close out this disconnected but connected weekend, right before closing my eyes I share a simple sentence to which Stephen responds, "i know." we reconnect.  and we know as troubled as our hearts may seem, as scared and unknown as things feel right now, that we both rely on a similar Voice, on a similar Presence, a similar Wisdom that we trust will get us on the other side of this too.