keep trying

What I didn't know about grief, well, is apparently everything. I started four posts and three made no sense and one was too honest even for me. I'll have to try again tomorrow. The biggest lesson I see in carving out daily time for this distraction-less space is that there is a LOT of sorting & feeling to fill it. And all that feeling and sorting flat wears me out and often leaves me less eloquent with blurry eyes. What I am practicing is that is also leaves me full of kindness towards myself, and all the ways I do not feel or look a thing like myself. When I can't write, i can't write. But I tried. Tomorrow I'll try again. And when I try again it will be for me and God and the memory of this time. And I'll just consider myself the luckiest gal around if any of you stick with me through all this sorting and feeling.