"How frail is humanity! How short is life, how full of trouble!" (Job 14:1)

"Be my rock of protection, a fortress where I will be safe. For the honor of your name, lead me out of this danger." (Psalms 31)

"You won't spend the rest of your lives chasing your own desires but you will be anxious to do the will of God. Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins." (1 Peter 4: 2, 8)

Oddly in a city with much gray I awoke this morning in the very early hours to bright bright light streaming in through all the windows. Outside my window I see the buds of a tree that has been bare turning green and slowly sprouting. In the past two days I have seen the most vivid rainbow of my life, a bald eagle, 4 baby ducklings and tulips everywhere. I am finding it so interesting how nature is revealing God to me this Lenten season. How I am aware of the shedding of winter for the new growth of Spring as I am also asking God, where are you, what's next.... when... how?

Holy Saturday, the in between the light and the dark, the silence, the grief, the mourning, the confusion, the unknown, this day makes more sense to me than ever before. Or if i am honest, I have probably not ever spent much time thinking about this day. I have allowed the darkness and the harshness of Good Friday to break my heart and unload my full stock of sin. And I have rushed into Easter day, clapped and danced and worn pastel dresses to heartily celebrate and contemplate what a risen God means to me. What victory over death means about God. But never have I wanted to give much time to the despair of Saturday.

The crushing, humiliating, confusing loss of Jesus on the cross. He shared all he could with those he loved. He proved all He had to for the unbelief to invite relationship into trusting God. And when His work was done, He returned to the side of His Father. But not after this final act of power, might, victory. What do I do thinking about my frailty on the day in between? When I have watched the Jesus I love be beaten and ridiculed and now He is gone. What am I holding onto that He gave me? What did He promise? What did I see? What do I know to be true of his nature? What do I believe? And then, SO What does that mean for my life?

Some days feel like our life is like Holy Saturday. In a holding pattern. Grieving what is not. Mourning all the ways we thought things were supposed to go. Wishing for comfort. Wishing for nearness. Confused about purpose. Never understanding timing. Lamenting. Begging for protection.

And everything in me wants to move right past that onto joy, restoration, victory. But for today, I'll try to ask, what do you have for me to consider today? And the many days that feel like this - of silence, of no answers or answers unfathomable. Of darkness of a closed tomb. How do I still with so much expectation? As you were eager to return to your father, shall I be too, eager to be at your right sight, in heaven and on Earth?