everywhere i look there is stuff. boxes half unloaded with things of some significance dribbling out. we tire of the sorting and feel we have far more than we need in every category and thus begins the loads of purging. but still when you shrink your space in half the spilling boxes remain because each and every item need to be weeded through and valued. their is goodness in the simplicity and for us with the very frequent moves we find ourselves eying certain pieces from across the room that still us and speak home to us.

finally after a week of trying to place and make new home, it's Friday afternoon. it's my last day as a SAHM after one year and 3 months. i have tried to make our last day a little special even though it was 62 degrees and raining on the first day of August and we were in disarray indoors. i went to wake Hannah up from her rest and laid down beside her for a moment. instantly warm large tears fell down my face as i stared into her's. i was even hoping that laying sideways she wouldn't notice these whoppers because I know she will follow my cues for yet another transition, but while they didn't last long, they had to fall. our little season is over. and its been a heck of a season. and i leave this wildly independent yet tender, and totally creative and sassy and pink and athletic girl so different then when we started out here last April. She is so inspiring with her strength. I have learned so much about myself and her and I know I will always cherish this season as insanely imperfect as it was, it was ours. i will miss all the little things like how beautiful children are when they wake from resting and how nice leisurely late and second breakfasts together are, and our aimless walks and explorations always incorporating beauty but rather unplanned.

More child rearing books should have been read long before we launched our year together and I did have a few days I prayed your memory wouldn't really start at 4. Tomorrow morning your dad and you are going to take the bus with me and help me find my new route. I am hoping i won't cry when we head different ways once the bus delivers us in Belltown. But it's here, it's time, and I tell myself again, God loves Hannah too. I know you will continue to grow into this amazing little girl that I totally adore. I pray with all the gut I got in me for protection over your days as we are a part and that when I hop off the bus each evening and walk back through our new little apartment doors that we can pick up where we left off, that you will know how much I treasure you and that i will have the strength to show you.

i love you forever, thank you for a beautiful exploratory season in so so many ways.

*can't resist including photos from our getaway to vancouver for the international fireworks competition and cousin fun.