i have spent the majority of the day trying to avoid thinking. but it keeps not working. A. there keep being these ridiculous breaks of time where i cant figure out what to distract myself with next and B. the alternative is to join PH who is breaking all sabbath rules and wanting to take care of way too many things. It's like basically criminal to do bills, laundry, house clean out (he was in a let's sell everything we own mood), and find the random missing part to the car that was broken off in the shipping that occurred 9 months ago.
we are restless. restless about purpose. restless for understanding. restless to move on. at times it feels our minds are so full we can't figure out which thing to process next, which door to open. And truly there are also the days that life seems so empty and unsure and non progressing that my mind feels blank.
i want to do more. Be more. Give more. i want place.