"I knew we were going the whole time," Stephen says with a grin as I am flying down the back country roads. I laughed, and said, "what, seriously!" He went on to say that although I had come up with every practical and responsible reason that we shouldn't go down to the free spot at the beach and crash with his parents, that when the the last minute to pass came there was no way I was going to pass. I totally cracked up. Pain in the butt to be known too well, also a pain the butt to be partnered with someone who has the patience for me to come around on my own time.

We are currently in the 6th bed/house/city since we left N 64th St. in Seattle. The kids and me have been to Edmonds, Ballard, Atlanta, Charlotte, Greenville and now Litchfield. Its been wild and I confess that when we meet our truck again and get to build our bed again n the house where we actually may live for more than 2 years... I will be pumped. But also, there is this adventure and spontaneity in me that has kind of liked this nomadic trail the kids and I have been on in the last 30 days. AND I am as proud of these two small humans in my life. They have been incredible and game for the ride. And that gives me such joy and hope for our future because they have two parents that like to keep it fresh.

So, after speeding down the very familiar beach roads, knowing when to take the 25 mile/hr seriously as we passed through Florence and Sumnter and so on, we arrived to the smell of the ocean. My heart seriously leapt and it has been a happy happy 36 hours for me. Stephen's parents greeted us downstairs the condo and we went up and were changed into bathing suits as fast as we could. We poured beers, found sunscreen, sunglasses and flip flops and made our way down to the the wide white sandy beach. Stephen, Nana and the kids were in the water before i barely got the chairs and towels sorted. And I looked out and felt such happiness.

Part of our homecoming was to see family more. Part of homecoming was to get to the beach more. And to actually get after it so much after landing the plane two weeks ago just thrills my heart. And also part of the homecoming for me was to continue in my courage and self love that had grown while in Seattle. To go to the beach and take off my shirt and feel good for what was underneath. To sit down and see the wide strong legs, painted but chipped toenails, softer than usual middle and makeupless face and say Ashley this is all good. To sit in the chair without squirming but in an accepting and kind way... oh my gosh.... it made me exhale. We can grow. We can change. We can become over and over and over again. There can be new truths about ourselves. Ahhhh, today was a good day.