It's rather unfathomable to imagine being one of the 12 to dine with Jesus and hear what must have sounded like wild babble for the Last Supper. To have your dusty worn feet washed and to imagine Jesus holding you, serving you so tangibly must have been beautifully bizarre. To consider that a tradition that is my privilege to practice represents the very body and blood of Jesus seems so precious and odd. The often stale stick to the top of your mouth wafers and grape juice in tiny cups that Hannah would love to keep for her doll babies and think that we are doing it in remembrance and honor of Jesus is truly out there if you really give thought to it. And yet, someone dying for me is also really out there, someone loving me with all my crap is pretty unimaginable, someone wanting a full and abundant life for me - its all a bit much to take in. Someone spending their days and seeing the people the way Jesus saw is pretty radical. And I am so glad we set aside time every calendar year to really consider it again.

My hope is that I don't go through all the motions, but that I allow what pictures we have been given to penetrate my heart and mind. Beginning with today's events, that I have considered throughout the day how beautiful it must have been to break bread and share wine with Jesus. To hang on his every word. To be beyond suspense and confusion of what was to come. To be terrified and hopeful. What a setting. I don't really want to go on to the next day because its so dark and painful to remember. But I am holding the sweetness and complexity of this day near, and feeling so honored that I get to take part in the remembrance of Jesus every time I take communion. That feels so generous.

Blessings to each of us as we head into such a significant few days to remember. I pray the character and stories of Jesus fill your mind and heart in rich and new ways.

Blessings for Staying Awake by Jan Richardson

Even in slumber, Even in dreaming, even in sorrow, even in pain: awake, awake, awake my soul to the One who keeps vigil at all times for you.