Color Me

So... what wasn't addressed was when you are seeking and anticipating a glad moment that doesn't turn out to be glad..oh hell. I feel sure we are all familiar with that. Tonight kind of felt that way when we got the keys to our new place. a place i have pictured in my head 100 times and a moment i have hoped for for the last 6 weeks. a place for us. anyway, there is nothing terrible to report other than it was unspectacular in many ways and i do prefer the positive drama. On top of which, as happens with couples our visions for the spaces and the walls isn't exactly matching up. i REALLY wanted them to be in sync and full of joy. or for him to have no opinion (hope you are all laughing very hard here if you know PH at all) and just love mine. 

anywho, i'll upload a video of the new house before and after we get in that joint. right now i need all your help. anyone with a kitchen paint color that they LOVE and that would match with black and white tile and light wood cabinents, let me know. it's special to match and i'd love a good paint color. secondly, i need a paint color for the downstairs bathroom which is TEENIE but stark white right now. So... anywho, folks, spill the beans if you love a kitch or bathroom color in your house. here are pics of those rooms in the new house that need your love. 

Hannah and i had a really good day together, sometimes i worry my heart might combust i love that girl so much. 

Pursuit of glad moments

Happy Sabbath!

My parents have worked hard to REALLY encourage Sabbath, a day of rest at the end of the long weeks to truly restore, rest and contemplate. Over the years it has become a far more appealing and logical rhythm for us.  Today we actually got to go to church and it was really great. The pastor shared one line that has really been on my mind, that we are all in pursuit of glad moments. and usually that life works in a cycle of hope (anticipation for glad moment), joy (experiencing it), loss (when glad moments end), and grief (time in between glad moments). this so resonates with me.

so in this pursuit of gladness, i am thinking about a few things - 1. what are examples of glad moments for me? 2. what does peace look like in the in between? where do i go for peace? 3. what do I know to be true about God in all the phases of the cycle? Psalms and the pastor today suggested that we hold onto God as Deliverer, God as Provider and God as Authority.

I'm hopeful for spaces this week to keep thinking about my answers and what i live out to believe is true about God to me in all phases.

El Sabado en Seattle

Saturdays were always complex in Charlotte because we wanted them to be everything. a time to refresh, restore, clean, run errands, be with friends, and have family time. it's so bizarre to start again and figure out how to spend Saturdays in this new place. Discovery seems to be top of the list considering the amount of neighborhoods, boutiques, cafe's and parks undiscovered by us. So it is quite exciting, especially on a sunny Saturday.

Today, we couldn't resist hitting up La Reve Cafe which is the best pastries of all time and we know we are leaving Queen Anne soon. We walked for coffee and pastries, got home and jumped in the car to see Gastown Park. It was quite beautiful and I'll let the pics above tell the stories.

I am in need of a serious attitude adjustment as it relates to our new house and our new neighborhood so we decided post naps we would hit up a park in the new hood and eat dinner at a little eatery on the main drive of Phinney Ridge. I REALLY needed to do that. I REALLY need to get pumped about our new place, i am struggle buckets. So, it was a good night - great park (although Hannah asks all the time who is going to play with her at the park because she doesn't know anyone, it's a bit heartbreaking, especially when we try to console her by saying, "us!"), GREAT pub and Eatery that was uber kid friendly and had delicious beer and all farm to table food.

new saturday was good. we can't deny missing any friends to spend weekend time with, but we are thankful for discovery.

I went to MOM's Club

HA, HA, HA HA...laugh all you want, i did it. I went to a meeting called MOM's Club of NE Seattle. I just laughed at myself again and haven't in fact said it aloud without laughing. for two reasons... one, i said yesterday I was going to lay low. HAHAHAHAHAHA. and two because these are the types of meetings i crack on and literally could not IMAGINE thinking were a good idea, i'm not the right material, HAHAHAHAHAHA.

to my defense I only agreed to do such a thing because Karen, my new friend from Calgary, asked me if i wanted to join her because there was an open house meeting this morning. I told her that if it was awful at least we could laugh together and if it had any potential that at least we could both learn. i hear myself talking to Hannah as we are driving there and i actually catch myself trying to convince her that it would be fun and realize that girl is up for anything. she is the best sidekick.

so, at the end of the day, here's the truth... the women there were totally lovely. they were kind, normal, dressed simply, kids disarrayed, i met two women from South America, one woman from DC who moved 6 months ago for her husband to work on a campaign for WA Governor, a woman of Indian descent who lives a few streets over and whose kid is so lovely i want to steal him. the room was chaos and nourishing all at the same time. because there was something really beautiful about knowing your place in life, motherhood, and also knowing you don't want to do it alone, and it was worth coming to meet others walking geographically close with some potential other similarities. i tried to smile at everyone. i wanted every mom to feel special and glad they risked being vulnerable even though the whole thing horrified me in the event they talked about any of the 900 things i wouldn't know about Seattle or being a stay at home mom.

oh funny day. in an ode to mothers, i HAVE to share this clip in case there is any mom who hasn't watched it yet. I LOVE it. i cry EVERYTIME. and i LOVE the OLYMPICS and maybe now P&G products. genius. Happy weekend all!

checked in to anxiety recovery

contrary to popular belief I am actually enjoying the lack of agenda, routine, and relationship. i know, i'm shocked too. I feel like i am in some recovery program or something. chaos or anxiety recovery where you take a break from a slam packed life and worry to the gills about your unemployed husband, ungrowing family, friends with hardship in their lives, work with deadlines, a kid is acting out, a house that needs attention, family with pain, death and illness, saggy body parts and the homeless man at the corner. and its not that all the aforementioned scenarios have subsided and life has worked out, that is really not how it feels, but it feels like a mini vacation from bearing it all.

it's interesting actually because i realize when i get ready to go to sleep each night that i truly do not feel anxiety for what the next day holds.  I think, Hannah and I will figure it out, and there are so few (like no) people to meet and please on any level professionally or community, and of course, i'd rather spend the whole rest of my life in rich community and probably in meaningful work in and outside the home, but this break feels better than i pictured and i feel myself resisting adding anything to this life.

as you have now seen for yourself, this 600 sq.ft. house can clean pretty easily, and with about two spices and herbs in the house and just a few pots and pans, i cook very simply. even getting dressed is pretty easy because i am re-wearing the same month of packed clothes over and over (:. anyway, i am belaboring the point, but somehow unexpectedly I am enjoying this slower, simpler, smaller life for this window of time. i am not out of energy to look my daughter in the face for extended periods of time and play make believe, and i can ask and hear about Stephen's day. and when i write or hear from my dear friends it feels lovely and light, i have capacity and love more accessible. 

i have some other big things to begin moving into and thinking about more regularly that i will be diving into v soon, but i just wanted to record this feeling. and to honor for now that i am not in a rush to build more relationships or set up a bunch of routines, that we are truly going day by day in a bit of a recovery kind of way.

Nob Villa Holla!

today is an unedited, unprofessionally shot short video to show you of the digs we have been living in since we moved out. Stephen found us this great little, little temp place until we could find a home. it has been good to us, other than the burp smelling fridge. the proximity to Queen Anne's lovely streets has been totally joyous and i'll try to capture some of that to show before we move to Phinney Ridge also. hope you enjoy the video!

HAO first visit to Pike's Place

My parents left today and it was really good to have them here. Probably gooder (i know that's not a word) that i even think, i know i will miss them much. and for sure Hannah will. Finally having a car did allow us to all adventure out together a bit more which was great. I finally made it Pike's Place Market and my felt SO excited to show Hannah the market of all markets. And because it was our first visit as residents, i felt we must go to the top rated fish n chips shop called Jack's spot.

As a side note if you haven't ever been to Pike's Place market, it is a huge open public market, a block off the water and it sells just about everything from handmade lovelies to all natural meats and veggies to all sorts of fish, etc. and it's huge and fun! anywho, it felt like a must to eat fresh fish, fried, so we sat at on small stools and pulled up to tiny fish bar and ate. i realize i need to gain control over my love for so much food goodness but i am hoping the discovery phase will wain and I'll slow down talking about food. maybe. but i love it.

sharing this city that is 100% new and unknown to me with my parents and sibs felt fun because i really think there is a lot of good to uncover here and that makes me very hopeful. i do feel i am very much in a honeymoon phase and will be for sometime, both of staying at home and of being in a new place. I think it helps that i also know when i'll be back East for annual Oster beach trip and visit to CLT which is the last two weeks in July. I'll send specs when i book the tics so you can ALL make sure to be around.. ha hahah!

i wanna hold your hand...

i absolutely love to walk around holding hands, mostly with Stephen, and a fabulous runner up is when Hannah holds my hand across a street and forgets for a few minutes and keeps holding. i love it.

quite spontaneous tonight, hao asked if she could sleep over with Ba and SuSu for their last night here in the little place they had been staying. I couldn't rob her of this and once i got home and realized it was 70 degrees and sunny in Seattle, all i wanted was to walk the streets and hold Stephen's hand. and maybe find a little place for a glass of wine.

it worked out splendidly and with no schedule to keep we sauntered over to a place called how to cook a wolf that had very high ratings. the front panel or the restaurant front had been lifted so fresh air could come in and we bellied up to the lovely butcher block bar and order one Willamette valley pinot noir and one amber draft and swordfish bruschetta. all off the hook. it was so so very fun.

after the bruschetta app, we came home and created the best little dinner combo ever with toast, goat cheese, yellow tomato, basil, applewood smoked bacon and avocado. i won't be able to get over it for a while it was so doggone good. especially since we dined while continuing to watch Downtown Abbey Season One on Netflix. TOO good to be TRUE. all of it.

Final Week Flashbacks

the week before we left for Seattle plays over and over in my mind.  lots and lots of the moments that may have seemed ordinary to others seemed magnamus to me. in other words, i had this constant since of the hugeness of what was about to transpire for me throughout the last week. i never however, got to share any pics of what these great moments were, so tonight I thought i would try to post some favs of last night in the house, going away party and trip to st. louis to be with the porters. all treasures in my heart. 

blessings to you all for a fabulous week ahead.  

Shiny Day, Happy People

when the sun shines i'm not sure i've ever seen a city so pretty. snow-capped mountains, tall tall buildings, boats and water everywhere, and some shiny happy people. no really, one of the things i was most worried about when moving back out to the NW was just the basic "hey's" on the street or eye contact or the like. and i have found people here in Seatle (not sure the term yet - like charlotteans) are nice. yea! and i realize sometime soon i need to quit taking and posting the cheesy tourist photos but i just can't explain how beautiful it seems at the moment. 

the coordination (read stress) that comes along with family gatherings is always something that seems to surprise me. it just takes so much to get everyone in the same place an the same time with the same desires and needs met. and Lord knows if you are Wilson you try to make sure all the needs are met. today, i had three priorities for my dear family visitors - see the new house and help me rally and vision, eat donuts or pastries (i've taken 7 days off), and to take the loop walk around Queen Anne that i LOVE. whew, we accomplished those things and even got to go on a date with very prego Amy and Aaron in Ballard. Sadie and Hannah have been having a ball together. how is it that cousins totally love each other at this age without knowing one another at all?  its so dang cute. 

the final update for the day is that our dear Olivia, as Hannah has named her, our Honda Pilot, has FINALLY arrived. the sweet thing left Charlotte on April 6th and was delivered a week late today. Oddly enough, we survived mostly just fine, Hannah and I walked for all our needs last week. It was mostly aggravating because I really began to wonder if our car had been stolen. the process was a bit maddening, but it was CRAZY how smelling the inside and finding a few treasured travel coffee mugs and water bottles seemed so familiar and made me HAPPY.