ice cream before dinner date with Ba

8 minutes away from missing my 50 day challenge. i popped back out of bed, never one to miss a challenge. 

the short of it is i went back to the doc, got new meds, praying for feeling like me, my parents and amy and aaron and sadie arrived later this evening and will be spending the weekend with us. i am thrilled to have them all. stephen had his first work social with me being the one at home. weird. it was cold and rainy, oh wait, i said that yesterday. (HA). 

signing off with two higlight moments of seeing fam

oh to be strong, firm and steadfast.

wine should really never go bad in my house and the sad bottle in my corner has been there since last Friday. go away sinus whatever.

today was a little plain and that was just right for us. our outing today was to storytime at Queen Anne Public Library which is a beautiful Carnegie library that is in a gorgeous old building and has stain glassed windows. it was lovely. loads of kids and moms/nannies there for the reading/craft/singing time, it was nice. hannah was very shy and wouldn't leave my side which was interesting to me. it is always easier to go with a buddy and she told me later she wished Hannah Beth could come. in time little one, we'll figure it out.

the afternoon has been very cold and rainy and Hannah and i both slept for 3 hours. i really miss exercise. sheesh.i also miss my friends who i feel sure would have brought soup or would watch Hannah for me so i could go back to the doc, but we are learning together.

i was thinking that today would be my "Friday" and how i loved Thursday nights. and literally this would be considered my last night of work because tomorrow is my last day on the payroll (used leftover PTO). it's weird so weird to think that I'll be bringing home zero dollars or insurance.

words looming in my mind today are from 1 Peter 5 which i finally took time today to sit with the bible (really you version, but you catch my drift) that we be EAGER to SERVE, that we CAST anxiety BECAUSE HE CARES, and that God will RESTORE us in due time and make us STRONG, FIRM, and STEADFAST. oh good. thank you Lord.

twirl cafe

"i was dreaming about Barbie." This is what Hannah tells me when i wake her from her nap. Huh, what does that dream look like? I am trying so hard not to communicate my dislike for the ol Barbie and her entirely unrealistic everything because i know they say it's better not to be the one to point out these things and just answer any questions honestly. okay, but does my kid have to dream about her.. sheesh.

we made our first friends today. well i don't know what will happen past today but a spontaneous playdate occurred at Twirl Cafe today. i have been trying to talk to hao about greetings and that it is an option to say Hello or Good morning rather than scouring or hiding when we are meeting new people. i also told her with new kids she can ask their name if she wants to and go from there. today, she walks right up to Clara and says, "what's your name, do you want to play with me?" desperation was written all over my poor kids face, but luckily the mother and daughter obliged and a two hour indoor bliss ensued. I will try to include a pic of Twirl Cafe here but if you are really curious you must see the website, it's a nearly genius concept of open indoor play space, a classroom space for all sorts of classes, and the cafe with wonderful healthy creative food options and yum espresso and/or wine for the parents. it rocks.

turns out the mother of Clara, Karen, told me that they too have recently moved here from Calgary, Canada for her husband to take a new job with Amazon (headquartered here). we had a very enjoyable conversation and it was medicinal time for Hannah Mia and me. i felt God's graciousness to me that my first mommy conversation as a staying home with my kid mommy was with a highly relatable woman that just moved here and also left her full time job and is learning this life a bit. It also helped us weather a bit of a frustrating afternoon when we were locked out of our apartment for two hours, but i am blocking that out. 

honestly my heart is still anxious about the new place, i am praying for peace, its probably too important to me, but i loved my home and that was when i spent lots less time in it. so anywho, moments away from convo with PH that i hope goes well as we rally and embrace a wee buyer's remorse and get in the game on our place.

the other pics in this little series are just sights we see on our walks each day, because of the rain the yards here are so beautiful and lush so i'll have to post some of them.

Lioness

i knew it would come quickly where i would not want to tell the truth about a day. i don't like people feeling bad and i have a strong dislike for hearing my complaints. that aside, today no good. well one good.

cold, cold, cold. rainy. still feel like shoe. a follow up to getting lost multiple times was spending 1 hr and 30 mins in traffic and being about an hour late to pick up Stephen and an hour late to sign our new lease... WHICH IS the one good - we signed a LEASE!

i can't tell if it is because i feel like shoe, get lost, have no friends and live in a 600 sq. foot temp place with none of our stuff and a fridge that smells like a bad burp, but today i could not rise above. i felt like talking to me was receiving the sort of the sound that comes out of a lion just about everytime.

so my growlness really got in the way of taking joy in the lease sign and instead i found all the things that are wrong with our new place.. which i will vent out now and forever hold my peace that this will be just right for us. positivity, yessiree. it's not in the neighborhood i had gotten a wee attached to that is so fiercly hard to get a house and mostly out of our price range. the stuff in the house is neither brand new sparkly granite or totally hip vintage but somewhere in between and two of the three bedrooms are in a renovated basement. stephen and i will be lucky to get our bed and dresser in the same room. there are no skyscaper or water views.

so why you ask did we just sign the lease when i am so HM. it's our own house and MANY of the units are shared or townhouses, etc. that we liked a bit less functionally. its in a good neighborhood just unexplored by me, but two blocks from Greenlake which is sort of like a large Freedom Park for my CLT peeps. its got character. i can walk to coffee, bakery, a cool market and a row of great shops.

as you can tell i should have signed off right away, i'm too liony today. tomorrow.. mercies new every morning, all will be fine and my z-pack will kick in.

here is one pic with more to come

the goodie-bag tops them all

my boy was spoiled. check his first day goodie-bag

ARE you KIDDING me? he got a ipad3, a MacBook Pro, a new iphone, a cool lunchbox and bag to carry it and a travel mug, a limited addition moleskin journal... I received no such goodie-bag today other than a poop pull-up, a round of whining, a few half eaten apples... HOWEVER i did stub my toe (on the way to the coin laundry btw) and she asked about it 3 additional times through the day wanting to check on it and make sure it was okay, and we did play with our first round of paper dolls and read a new book.

so the "first" days were pretty good. i confess it was my most challenging day so far in LARGE part because I am sick, i don't know what this is but it feels like the flu or a bad sinus infection but i do feel a bit like shoe. and i did feel curious what my rockstar mom friends do when your sick? so honestly today was highly unmemorable on the joy scale for hao and I and that's okay.

PH on the other hand. he was one handsome dude walking out the door this morning and came home one happy guy. i think even with a one-hour compliance video he had a pretty great day. he enjoyed the people he met, was taken out to lunch and is very eager to get to work.

we started our new hopeful tradition of walks together each day so we hit the streets and caught up with one another once he got home. we did receive news that two houses accepted our application and we have like 24 hrs. to make a decision on a place. very different pros and cons on both so any prayers for quick discernment are appreciated.

love again to all of you who were so supportive on this "first" day of new work for us both. (:

tomorrow is a real new day

it's amazing how the sun feels on your face when you are least expecting to see it. we have been totally spoiled. its like a welcoming that although the temperature is about 30 degrees colder than NC, the sun is wrapping itself around us and it is great.

finally tonight at dinner at via tribunale it really hit me that Stephen will get up tomorrow morning and do the routine i have been doing for the last 12 years and I won't. i will start a new routine. that i am a wee bit scared of and have no idea what it will look like but tomorrow we start anew. I think it is safe to say Hannah and Stephen are pumped. I'm a work in progress, not because i am not looking forward to it, but more because it feels so unknown. it feels a bit as hard as figuring out how to be a director of a program to figure out how to be the director of a mini-me's life and our home.

we were all over town today looking for a place to live and went to multiple showings with a similar experience of people waiting in the cars for the open house to begin. the last one we saw, we really liked and we were finally one of the first to apply and MAY have a chance. it's in greenlake and its a little bungalow that even with an imperfect layout we could see ourselves there and it had many of the things we hoped for in a house. the vaughans have been great support through all the mass searching and neighborhood investigations. i truly have peace that right place will be there for us, i just lack the patience for it! (shocker)

really missed my small group tonight and am so thankful for all the texts and emails this week. goodnight week one.

J & J first visit and other fun things

today, the pics will speak for the day. it was gorgeous and sunny and some of our fav people were with us and getting to know our daughter. dreamy. we had our first seattle picnic and it was all lovely. happy day.

run therapy

it was past time for me to lace up and hit the streets in my new city. yesterday, this lovely Swedish woman told me her favorite route in Queen Anne so this morning I got after it. and OH MY GOODNESS, it was spiritual. seriously. i smiled and cried and had to change my music from Usher to City Harmonic the route was so divine. Queen Anne is a very hilly place, and i mean big steep hills where you think your car might flip, more like San Fran, but the Sweed was right on this was the perfect loop to keep you on the perimeter with unbelievable views of the water, mountains and city and very few hills. thank heavens.and i totally fell in love with this neighborhood. please please magic house in our price range open up.

i actually stopped on my run to grab this pic

i came in with tears and Stephen smiled, he is always good to be happy for me. i put the praise mix on the speaker and invited them to join me dancing around our teeny one bedroom while the song finished. it was a great start to the day.

and i have a feeling we'll have a great finish as we are awaiting the arrival of our buds Jon and Jaz, but I think it's best to leave the remainder of the day out of it. it was straight-out stress and anxiety. in between these surreal moments it sinks in that we are so totally alone and without a landing pad. i always disliked the term nesting around pregnancy but if there were every a time i actually understood it, it would be now, i am dying to create home and place. patience, i know, there is plenty of time, but i am just saying for the moments inbetween it wears on me. the hours are waning before Stephen will begin his new adventure at work and I am tackling homelife in this joint. 

so i close this very very quiet friday night with a glass of wine and trust tomorrow is a new day, my friends will be here, and new days mean more to discover in this new place.

Mighty O... you may think that means Oster...

smoothie followed by donut followed by salad = paleo..right? it may be the new Seattle paleo because I can't handle the availability of truly fresh baked goods where you walk in and your whole nose is overwhelmed by either the smell of fresh ground coffee or oven fresh scones or donuts. oh my.here is a pic of today's mid-morning treat which we took to-go down to Greenlake park. 

so the house hunting is rough. no one has for rent signs in their yards because they don't' need them. demand is high and availability in great hoods appears to be low. we are literally debating nothing and nothing as options. the ONE house i have been inside so far was for a open house (which they do for rentals) and it was to start at 5:30pm, we came at 5:25pm and there were three others waiting in front the house that all put in applications before us. it's intense folks.we are down about it and mostly because i have this HIGHLY romanticized idea about where i am about to land that has loads of windows, a fireplace, hardwood floors and a reasonable kitchen and has a walk-ability score of at least 85.. i know, get over myself, but a girl HAS to dream. at least a little.

so i came home and embraced a piece of my new life which will be my return to the kitchen. it feels like it has been a LONG time since i was the cooker. and well, for being a bit rusty we started off with a real winner so i must share for those of you that like to cook easy healthy meals.

It's Spring Minestrone. I found the recipe on Epicurious and modified it a bit so here is the recipe and my modifications included the following: Buy pre-made chicken meatballs - the all natural ones from trader joes with sundried tomatoes are what we used and they were delish (and this cancels out 4 ingredients). Add stewed or diced tomatoes for more flavor and more veggies. I used orzo for the pasta and it worked well. i also used the mixed Italian cheeses from tj's - the parmesan, asiago, romano... and it was yumo. 

• 6 ounces ground chicken (about 3/4 cup)
• 1/2 cup fresh breadcrumbs
• 6 tablespoons finely grated Parmesan, divided, plus more for garnish
• 4 garlic cloves, 2 minced, 2 thinly sliced
• 2 tablespoons chopped fresh chives
• 1 large egg, whisked to blend
• Kosher salt, freshly ground pepper
• 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
• 1 leek, white and pale-green parts only, sliced into 1/4" rounds
• 5 cups low-salt chicken broth
• 3/4 cup ditalini or other small pasta
• 1 cup 1/2" rounds peeled carrots
• 1 cup (packed) baby spinach
• Chopped fresh basil

Preparation

Mix chicken, breadcrumbs, 3 tablespoons Parmesan, 2 minced garlic cloves, chives, egg, 3/4 teaspoon salt, and 1/4 teaspoon pepper in a medium bowl. Form into 1/2"-diameter meatballs (makes about 28).

Heat oil in a small pot over medium heat. Cook meatballs until golden all over, about 3 minutes (they will finish cooking in soup). Transfer to a plate; set aside.

Add leek to pot and cook, stirring often, until beginning to soften, about 3 minutes. Add 2 thinly sliced garlic cloves; cook for 1 minute. Add broth and 2 cups water; bring to a boil. Stir in pasta and carrots; simmer until pasta is almost al dente, about 8 minutes. Add meatballs; simmer until pasta is al dente, carrots are tender, and meatballs are cooked through, about 3 minutes. Add spinach and remaining 3 tablespoons Parmesan; stir until spinach is wilted and Parmesan is melted. Season with salt and pepper.

Ladle soup into bowls. Garnish with chopped basil and Parmesan.

Day One.

when you start the day with a breakfast like that it is incredibly hard to be unhappy. we walked from our little one bedroom temporary apartment on Nob Hill Ave. in Queen Anne to this lovely french bakery.  although i went to sleep and woke up with a pretty fierce sore throat and running nose, i really didn't want to miss a thing of our firsts. 

at breakfast we tried to tell Hannah a little bit about what the next week or so would be like... lots of driving around looking at neighborhoods and praying God would help us find the perfect little home for our family. after telling us that her other home is where she belonged (hilarious she used that word), we told her we will have new parks, libraries, coffee shops, friends, etc. She looked up at me and said but mom, "we don't want to make new friends, you like yours so much." Indeed I do. I can tell that while curious and open, she is a little confused and somewhat longs for the familiar. She then asked, "where do i go when you got to work?" Stephen told her he was going to go to work and that I would be staying home. it was an interesting grin, not sure what she thinks of this idea. um, me either. 

our cold overcast day was good touring some neighborhoods and hitting up all the necessary things from target and trader joes (the familiar). hannah and i slept for about 3 hours in afternoon, both worn out. and we ended the day at a lovely thai tapas restaurant in Ballard. my heart is all over the place, and I'll try to take this all one day at a time.