flick list for kids?

tonight i was thinking how tired ya’ll have to be of hearing my random carrying on everyday and i realized that this week we hit 50 days. oh my stars. i have almost made 50 in 50 and even more, i have almost made it 50 days in Seattle, Washington. i feel i haven’t just made it actually, its been a pretty rich 50 days. thanks to any of you who have journeyed with me.

today was a good day. two quick side notes here: A. Can we come up with a list somewhere somehow of great kid movies and shows? Like G movies that are actually not scary at all and have any sort of strong character development? For sure can we develop a mini feminist movie list that includes movie that encourage young girls to be introspective and brave rather than wait for a prince. (btw, Hannah’s first movie in the theaters may be Brave, it looks so awesome it makes me want to have red hair). Anyway, if any of you actually email me your favs, i’ll make a list on my sidebar on the blog for other peeps too. I should include a sidebar of the GREAT ideas some of you sent me of ways to make staying at home fabulous and encouraging your kids in activities, i have used LOTS of those ideas. However, a side note to my side note is, it is a little embarrassing that I may like your suggestion of Laurie Berkner Pandora station better than Hannah, i can’t quick singing her songs... for the LOVE. (thanks and maybe no thanks ms. laurie l.)

Okay, so our Bob tires were mega flat today so we couldn’t run to the park because I couldn’t find our air pump (yes, things are still in boxes). So we drove over there but ran through a baseball field on the way where Hannah and I had the jolliest time running around the bases before hitting up the park.  She started off enjoying independent play or play with me, thank you Lord, but after about 15 minutes realized she must find a friend. one lovely frizzy curly long blue eyed girl who looked about Hannah’s age played a bit hard to get as Hannah (AND I!) tried to make friends with her until finally Hannah said, “Hey do you want to play with me?”, and OFF they went, like literally running the perimeters of the park. I felt my heart lighten as I saw Hannah unreservedly smile and chase at the chance of playtime. Turns out Tianna had a lovely mother who found me and we carried on a very enjoyable conversation. She is Austrian and was really delightful. only two awkward moments to report: A. when she told me her pre-nup with her husband was that they never live in Iowa (where he is from) - Sorry Melissa!!! - and B. when her almost 2 year old got tired of running around so she scooped her up and put her in the ergo and the next time i looked over this little one had pushed her mom’s shirt down and was breastfeeding. no comment.

okay, enough rambling for a day, Stephen and i have done our INSANITY workout and are ready for tea and a show. BTW, we rented This Means War the other night and thought it was very fun and better than we had expected so worth the rent.

thoughtful business

there is something about the level of thought that is put into all the details and character of retail and dining in these Northwest cities. I swear it makes me eat more and they sell more. Nevermind you feel fabulous while you are doing it because you are eating new tastes in a novel setting you have never quite seen before with a server who seems entirely unique and other patrons that peak your curiousity with a menu that has great fonts and color and wine/coffee that always seems to taste just right.

truly, i am inspired and amazed that there are little neighborhoods in both Seattle and Portland that have disctinct feels and thoughtful layouts that invite you in. from a food cart food court that backs right up to stringed lights and a beer garden to a store entirely dedicated to lightbulbs or socks (no lie), to a store (pictured below) that sells salts, chocalote, wine, and flowers, to a open kitchen that is filled with female chefs, to an ice cream shop committed to homeade ice cream sandwhiches. i really love it. i hope it never gets old to me.

i confess as we drove back to Seattle tonight, i felt like i was driving to my house, and not quite home, but it felt good, and as the city broke out in view, i felt a twinge of gladness that this was our spot. thank you Jesus. I also confess that as i walked in it set in that a new week begins and after the rawness of last week, i am a little afraid and i will beg God tomorrow for new strength, new ideas and new friends.

hope you all had a nice long holiday weekend and soaked up some good vitamin D.

Portland Revisited

i think about the last time we lived on the West Coast and mostly, i, and everyone who knew me then, cannot believe we are back. it's not that it was terrible, it was just a rough season for me. i had bad back pain that greatly affected my days and self esteem, i was lonelier than i was used to and felt regularly out of place, and i had an unfulfilling job.

it is so wild to be back in this city and hear myself tell people that we drove down from Seattle for the weekend. Because we live in Seattle. Crazy. But i feel like such a totally different person returning to this coast far more confident in who i am and where we are in life in so many ways. it's just wild to be in this city and remember our first journey left. While it was a very mixed bag, the joy of being able to be in more day in, day out life with the Vaughans is a sweet reminder of God's generosity in giving us them 8 years ago, and that there is much more in store than i can even imagine of why we are back over here. a great deal out there to learn about ourselves, our God and community.

it has been so good to laugh, play and dine for a few days. friendship is so nourishing, along with dern good food and the chance to have a date. and i love that Hannah is always up to meet new people and be a part of new adventure. you would think her pallet on the floor was a king size bed in the Ritz in Hawaii she loves it so much. i appreciate her open heart and it teaches me. stay open ash, stuff is ahead. good stuff.

Good company. Good eats.

Road trip

Walking through the door to hugs and bed prizes was all this little crew needed. To be known and welcomed has this most fabulous hug feeling without being touched. We are all happy to spend the holiday weekend in Portland with the Vaughans. I don't even want to go to sleep we are in such good company. I took pics I was going to post with no words but my phone is Hannah's sound machine so I'll add tomorrow. Happy Memorial Day Weekend all! Hope it's restful and fun.

rebound

her little head popped over the counter with a beautiful smile and hopeful face as she waited to hear the women at the information desk at Phinney Neighborhood Center tell us if they had drop in playgroups.  They told me i would have to be in the preschool to be in the playgroups and that i could be waitlisted. i explained i just moved and okay.  Hannah asked what happened and i told her the groups were full and we could be on a list and she said, okay, let's wait right here on these steps then. dear beautiful hopeful heart. 

thank heavens the weatherman was wrong. instead of day 4 of 50 degrees and rain, around 12:30pm today, the sun broke through. i spent the next 4 hours with as much sun touching my skin as possible. its dramatic sounding and the weather isn't the source of my problems, but the sun certainly felt healing.

yesterday felt a little too raw for me. sorry for being such a sad debbie downer and maybe too honest. today, was truly better.

today, we painted (HAO on her easel and me the downstairs bathroom) and I LOVE the blue color, then we found a random bag of My Little Pony's (thank you Farrow's) that we forgot we even had and it provided lots of entertainment. (nevermind that the ponies mom was VERY bossy per Hannah's playing). the plumber was over to fix the sink, he was a very kind gentleman and after his long visit, we busted out to play outside. (and went to the center per the story above). more porch yoga, planting and watering, cooking, and our hearts were in a better place. i really believe each day, mercies are new, i can start again.

a real humph day

we hit an new low today. the mall. by 9:45am, i had gone for a run, showered, done 2 loads of laundry, made smoothies, played two matching games, Spanish bingo, and done a puzzle. it was 51 degrees and raining. we had no one to call or calling us and no plans in our foreseeable future including the one plans we had for a playdate all week were canceled for the 2nd time. we had to get out of the house. i have had Nordstrom gift cards since my birthday, so off we went.

probably the most endearing part of the day is that i am trying to pump hannah up that it will be fun to walk through the mall and see what's there.. we enter and Hannah says, "oh mom, so pretty here." i want to cry and pick her up and kiss her for saying the most perfect thing at the best time. she also held my hand extra long and it really helped. THEN we find the indoor mall playground which is pretty much the last thing i want to do but hannah is beside herself so i find a starbucks get a coffee, ignore all the signs that say no drinks and sit while Hannah is on her mission again to find a friend. she finds the happiest little girl i have ever seen, who unfortunately speaks no English, and Hannah thinks she isn't answering her on purpose.  fast-forward to a terrible lunch date with the two of us where hannah screams in the cafe and doesn't eat one thing and cries all the way home. 

damn we are struggling. i cried today once i got home and put her down. i haven't cried much at all since i have been here, but i cried. it just feels like too much transition. leaving my work, my friends, my house, my family, my church. i actually really like this city, a lot of it seems to really fit us, even me, if i could just transport ONE friend, one of you, who else is crazy enough??

we are totally fine, this is where we should be. i don't waste time thinking through that. i just miss work. i miss the way i could talk to my friends and be a part of their lives. i miss my house and warm weather.  i miss my parents. i miss phone calls and emails. 

so, our little troop rallied in the evening. HAO woke up from nap and we practiced riding her new big girl bike. we watered plants (even though it has rained everyday this week), and once PH got home we went for a walk and found a new little restaurant where we came up with various uses for chopsticks. then i gave stephen a fashion show for the $$$ i dropped at Nordstrom whilst in despair. and he was gracious about it. we'll make it, but this one was rough to record.

A and Pantone 130

a good day ends with our two favorite cups filled with steaming yogi bedtime tea. the day ends well feeling like enough checks were marked for the day, we heard each other, we explored a little, we ate well, we learned a little something and Hannah is sleeping peacefully after a lot of play and feeling loved. it was just a day, we did all the simple things that keep life moving, nothing dramatic or hard or terribly exciting. im getting more and more comfortable with those days.

First things First

i just get so lost. i make it harder. i think i fail when there is no one testing. i'm all bent up with this parenting thing. i knew how to be a working mom. it was imperfect but we had our gig, all were well. i want to learn this new place and the many facets of my expanding purpose, not just as a mom, but as a woman, wife, sister, cousin, friend, mom and daughter. so i am going back to the basics.

i picked up a devotional called Parenting with Purpose and Grace last year from the Regent bookstore. its been on the shelf all year and yesterday i opened it. She says "Every parent can testify to the longing for more energy, more patience, and less selfishness. A how-to book cannot change us or satisfy our longings." (okay so i am normal and SHOOT once again there is no manual). She goes on to say, "The Bible, however, promises to be a living and active to penetrate soul and spirit... and a place to look when desirous to reflect the love, wisdom, and grace of God himself. (oh, right, the Bible, i have heard this before). i read the other day about spiritual amnesia and i got it.

So the first devotion is an exercise to read through Mark 12:28-34 and 1 Corinthians 13. It's about God offering to us the MOST important thing we can do in any relationship, is to love. To love. Love God with it all, Love Neighbors as self. And He offers this beautiful clear definition of love which the author asks me to read and write down which qualities are most manifested in my home. I am not shamed but moved, hopeful even. i can live simpler, back to the basics without the clutter and love with all i got.

Right, so the bad manners, slammed doors, pooping trauma really aren't the things to get in perfect order - important i know  - but am i communicating to Hannah as much about kindness, patience, slowness to anger, lack of envy, hope, and trust? How does my love play out for Stephen now, just about 11 years in, am i actively hoping, trusting, protecting, persevering? Again, this wasn't a slap on the wrist today for what any household isn't or a checklist for improvement, my heart was encouraged that i may suck at crafts and pretend, but i freaking love the girl to the ends of the world, how can that play out in our home? how can i be encouraged towards patience with all those around me?

I want at the end of her days that she learned more than the health benefits of blueberries or good manners but that she learned about loving God and loving her neighbors. i needed so badly that reminder, i got lost.

Observations of life as a burgeoning Seattleite

as i take this new life in each and everyday, it seems impossible for me to tell those around me all the little differences between my sweet south and NC and this wild wild west. I have a great deal more to learn but here a few premature observations, some totally welcomed and some quite funny to this southern girl.

Driving notes: everyone is apparently on a Sunday drive everyday. Even the highway speed limit is 60 and everyone goes it. i'm like freaking dale jr. around these parts, heaven forbid anyone pass anyone or you may take out a biker or something. In town, slow as molasses, no on is in any dang hurry. Thank heavens the scenery is so lovely i forget to be too upset. They do have HOV (still not sure if a kid counts as a carpool) and Express lanes which is nice, but traffic is a whole new ballgame here, harkens back to our DC days.  i am learning routes based on times of day.

Food: Highlight is that you have to search for chain food, like really want it, because the scene is almost all dives and entrepreneurs. bakeries and coffee shops are literally lined up right beside each other and always full. shocking they all stay in business but they do. Thai food is bountiful. You'd have to search for a Bud Light too because people love their micro brews out here. the really amazing thing to me is that EVERY restaurant you go to has vegetarian, vegan and gluten free options and marks their menus accordingly. heck, church offers gluten free bread for communion. allergy friendly peeps out here.

Rain ain't no thing but it is. Everyone still always talks about the fact that half the year is rain but yet they have lived here forever. Seems to be a strong love hate relationship. Umbrellas are a no go, raincoats are the way. But it doesn't stop anyone, you do yard work, errands, whatever regardless of the weather. i had my first long rain run today and it was a bit euphoric i will say, i loved it. ask me again in November.

Style and Manner here really seems to span the gammet from what i have seen so far. Tats and pink hair are pretty mainstream. We have found people to be very very friendly. Differences when meeting new folks don't seem near as extreme as Portland did. Women do breastfed everywhere, which was also the case in Portland, so you get used to a little more boob, which is no problem for me, whatever works, in fact i don't think i have seen a single hooter hider, that would probably be odd here. funny.

so i carried on but just wanted to share a few observations, and we will keep on learning! Cheers to a new week!